FRIENDSHIP

There's no doubt about what was special about this evening (the 23^rd of February, 2011). It was meeting up with 3 of my closest friends. Even as I write this I ponder upon the word 'friend', I ponder upon the word ‘friendship’. People try to define words like 'friend/friendship' and 'love' and 'life' all the time. To me, they defy definition. Friendship isn't and can never be about certain things alone. It can be about anything, it can be about nothing in particular and everything in general. Today, to me –

Friendship was knowing that the 4 of us would be together after ages. Friendship was in the wait for the others to show up. Friendship was when 3 of us (crouched into the dark corner of our table to not be seen) burst out laughing (and gave ourselves away) at the exasperated expression of our 4^th (very expressive) friend squinting in the dark looking for us. Friendship was when we met and hugged. Friendship was when post-hugs we checked out one another to pass comments and found our topics for the evening – weight (“You sure lost weight doing what you did at that place where you went”), hair (“So this is the new haircut huh” “I’m going to get my hair cut next week” “You didn’t know that she can’t get her hair cut?” “I’m balding (and into bald men)”, bags (“I bought a new bag” “Mine’s the same old” “I saw one like yours” “I’ve never seen this bag of yours”), clothes (“Someone’s all decked-up and looking sexy” “Only you say so” “I’m sure he says so too” “There’s news on the he-and-me front” “You b**ch why am I never in the loop?”). Friendship was when from clothes we had suddenly moved on to boys and when then there was no stopping us. Friendship was when in our attempts at catching-up we started confiding and toasting to our revelations (“I have something personal to tell, 2 things actually” “I topped my class” “I don’t know what I’m going to do in life” “I have a crush”). Friendship was when we giggled out loud when one of us remembered a night of a summer vacation we spent together (much like the one today) that involved a certain Joey-peeing-on-Monica joke. Friendship was when one of us asked whether not feeling something was a problem and the remaining 3 pounced on her and what followed was a long tirade of 3:1 counselling. Friendship was when one of us cornered another in the loo (“Hey, I want to talk about that thing you said back there” “Sure” “I feel this way all the time” “Don’t worry, I do too”). Friendship was in knowing we’d never break our friendship code (“Never tell your boyfriend what your girlfriend tells you about her and her boyfriend” “Hell, never tell anybody”). Friendship was in planning what we’d do this summer (“Go Goa” “Let’s go abroad” “I don’t mind down South, Kerala perhaps” “Let’s go abroad” “I want to go someplace where we can explore” “Let’s go abroad” “Haridwar anyone?” “Haridwar it is”). Friendship was in, first not wanting to spend a bomb on eating (“It’s bloody expensive here”), then in collectively oohing and aahing at the delicious aromas and in finally ordering whatever we wanted anyways. Friendship was in gazing at the huge screen (displaying the Kenya-Pakistan cricket match) and talking all-at-once about cricket (“Let’s watch the crucial Indian team matches together” “Crucial would be India-England, India-S.Africa” “What about India-Pakistan and India-Australia” “They aren’t in the same group, wait they are, no they aren’t, okay nevermind” “I hate Pakistani cricketers, did you see Kamran Akmal’s face?”). Friendship was in glancing at our watches all-at-once and realizing that we had to leave and in having to leave let go of our unfinished conversations for some other day like this. Friendship was in the unspoken thought that some other day like this would probably not happen for a while. Friendship was in walking 1 of our friends to the bus-stop because she had a long ride back to her place. Friendship was in talking loudly (“I love Modern Family” “I love Mitchell and Cameron” “I love their Vietnamese baby”) and giggling foolishly (“You told your mother what?” “Hehe, now that’s funny”) as we waited for the bus (which as it turned out wouldn’t show up at that time and this we learned from the ‘chana-chor-garam wala’). Friendship was in then coaxing an auto-driver to give all 4 of us a ride in his rickshaw. Friendship was in seeing one of our friends (who stays in good old South Bombay and was nervous about train-travel-at-this-hour and whom we coaxed with ‘we suburbians give you our reassurances’) board the train. Friendship was then in the rest of us explaining to our parents that we’d be late because we were ‘nibhaooing’ friendship in first waiting for a bus for our nervous-train-traveller-friend and then seeing her board the train safely. Friendship was in those things that we talked about and did and that it’s fun to talk about and do but not to mention on your blog. Friendship was in those things that definitely happened but I didn’t gather or that I missed mentioning.

Friendship was in the final knowledge that it was an evening well-spent.

Friendship was in nothing in particular and everything in general.